The Divine Nudge: How I Was Summoned to the Feet of Bhadrakali

They say you don’t choose Devi; She chooses you. And if you’re stubborn like me, She’ll use whatever means necessary to get you where you need to be, including a friend, a last-minute cancellation, and a perfectly timed "coincidence."

In my previous post, I wrote about the "striking" sound in my bones and my intense desire to finally step into the Kalari pit. For years, I’ve felt Kalaripayattu running in my blood. It never felt like a new hobby; it felt like a practice I had mastered lifetimes ago and simply left behind. My body was craving the movement...the strengthening, the conditioning, the yoga. It was a physical hunger I couldn't ignore.

But while my body was ready for the training, the spiritual side was waiting for something else. It was waiting for Kalarigram.

The Trip That Almost Wasn’t

It started with a casual conversation. A friend, a deep devotee of Maa Tara mentioned she wanted to see Kalarigram firsthand after listening to my previous month's 2 weeks of Mahashivratri experiences. She was so insistent, so "ready," that she nudged me to plan a 2 day trip for that very week. I booked the bus, the stay, the works. I knew it was Navratri, I knew it was Amavasya, and I’d heard a whisper from another friend that something related to the Kodungallur Bharani was happening there, but I didn't have the details.

Then, the "irony" hit. Right before we were supposed to leave, my friend called. She was suddenly unwell and couldn’t make it.

I sat there and laughed. I realized right then that I would never have planned this solo trip on my own. She was the catalyst...the nudge I needed to get the tickets booked. Now that I was ready to go, the universe pulled her out of the equation. It was meant to be just me and the Goddess and what was supposed to be a 2 day trip, ended up being a week-long!

"Amma Wanted You Here"

I reached Kalarigram on the day of the Amavasya. That morning, I met Lakshman Gurukkal. The look on his face was pure shock.

He told me he had just been thinking of sending me a message through someone to invite me for the Bharani. He hadn't even reached out yet, and there I was, standing in front of him. When I told him the ridiculous story of how I ended up there because of my friend’s "nudge," he just smiled that knowing smile.

“Amma wanted you here,” he said. “And that’s why you’re here.”

The Initiation

What followed was the most overwhelmingly beautiful experience of my life. Gurukkal explained that the temple would be closing for a week following the Bharani, but in the days leading up to it, the space would be transformed by several intense poojas and a Laksharchana - a massive, collective offering of one lakh mantra recitations for Bhadrakali.

When he asked if I was comfortable being a part of these rituals, there wasn't even a second of hesitation in my heart. The moment I said "Yes," he initiated me into the long Bhadrakali Beeja Mantra.

For the next three days, I was part of a very small, intimate group given access to these sacred offerings. I witnessed rituals and witnessed energy at such close quarters that it felt entirely new to me and at the same time, familiar. As I sat there, reciting Her mantra tens of thousands of times, the connection to my Kuladevi - who is also Bhadrakali, became more than just a thought. It became a physical, vibrating reality in every cell of my body.

The 21st of March was the third and final day...the main day of the pooja, invoking several intense energy fields. I witnessed something so wild, so raw, that I could barely move my feet or speak for a long time after. I was completely unanchored. When I went to take blessings from Gurukkal and Guruma, he looked at me and said:

"Enganeyo ivde ethi pettu (Somehow you landed here). Friend-nodu nanni parayanam (You must thank your friend)."

I thanked her in my heart right then, and I stood quietly next to the other friend who had first mentioned the Bharani to me, thanking him internally too. They were the gatekeepers who didn't even know they held the keys.

The Final "Wonder"

But the story doesn't end there. A few days later, back in my city, I shared my stories with the friend who had "nudged" me. After a four-hour conversation, she dropped a bombshell. She told me that a few days earlier, she had a crazy experience one night where the Goddess appeared in a dream and told her, "You aren't ready to visit this space yet... it will happen when you are, and you'll know."

I asked her when that happened. She looked at me and said, "The 21st." - The very day I was witnessing the peak of the energy and being told to "thank her," she was being told...from the source itself that her job was simply to get me there.

Now, remember: my friend is a Tara devotee. She usually only sees Tara. But during my trip, Gurukkal had mentioned a hidden connection between Kodungallur Bhagavathy and an ancient deity named Kurukulla.

Three years ago, a person (the same one who happened to be the one to finally take me to Kalarigram after I had been following them for a long time) had mentioned 'Kurukulla' in an online session. At the time, I didn't know the history, but we had done an incredibly intense visualisation of Her during a meditation. She had stayed with me, tucked away in the back of my mind, for three years. Just a day before I met my friend back in the city, I had felt a sudden, inexplicable urge to start reading more about Her. My interest was fueled by the fact that Kurukulla is the personal deity of Shree Kumar ji, my Acharya, whose Mahaganapati Sadhana path I am initiated into.

My jaw dropped when I found the missing link: Kurukulla is none other than Red Tara.

The Devi didn't just use a "friend" to get me there; She used a devotee of Her own "Red" form to open the door, then told her to wait outside while the daughter of the lineage was brought home.

I realize now that my "physical hunger" for Kalari was the training ground for this moment. I wasn't just visiting a place; I was being initiated into my own power. I have a long way to go, but the mantra is now in my breath, and the Shakti is in my heart.

She didn't just invite me; She brought me home.

Om Bhadrakāliye Namaha!